Hello lovelies! So this will be my official first post of 2017 and I wanted to talk to you guys about something I’ve been thinking of for a while now. It’s non LDR related so this is just about myself and something I want to do. This current moment I don’t have the means for it yet nor am I a 100% sure about this yet. Let’s talk about it though..
My whole life I’ve been this one person, a girl with a family name. A family name tied to that part of the family tree. My name will always be part of this family tree. My last name. Which I will not name on this blog because for now I don’t see the need to mention my full name on here 🙂
I have my father’s name. Both my first and last name are his, by “my first name is his” I mean he came up with it. The thing is however, my real father has not been a father to me. I could go into detail and tell you all about my real father but it would take me a few posts so I won’t.
I have however given my father plenty of chances to redeem himself and believe me when I say that this idea I have in mind is not just something I want to do on a whim. I honestly have very good reasons why I want to do this. So what do I want to do? – I want to change my last name. I want to change my last name to my mother’s last name. If I want I can even pick my late grandmother’s name but I will most likely pick my mom’s. A few reasons as to why I want this:
– I don’t want my future children to be in any way shape or form linked to my real father. He wasn’t interested in being a father so why would he be interested in being a grandfather some day?
– I don’t want to carry his name anymore. To me a last name means you’re carrying on a “legacy” of someone, of a family(tree). I don’t want to carry his name on through my family tree.
– I would much rather carry on my mother’s family name, so that one day after she passes away, my children and maybe my grandchildren will carry on her name. Which to me, is something honorable.
Since my father has no other children and never wanted one after me, I am the last one in line who carries his name. If I stop carrying his name, it will cease to exist after he passes away. I do have other family members but they all married and changed their names or they are married into the family with that name. But I am officially the last one in line with the name, carried with me from the day I was born. Because it will cease to exist after he passes away, I am a bit iffy about doing it. It almost feels like the biggest betrayal and also feels like I would deny his name to be carried on, as it would feel dishonorable. Then again, I do have very good reasons why I want to do this and what he did to me isn’t exactly honorable neither.
Another reason why I’m still unsure of this decision is the following: Let’s pretend my last name is “Dutchie” , my entire life I have been Naomi Dutchie and all of a sudden I would ‘no longer be that person’. I would change my last name and to me that’s a very big decision. Of course I would still be the same person I am today, but I hope you guys get what I am afraid of. Also changing your last name comes with a few cons.
First of all, it’s not cheap. I will need 800 euro’s to change my last name.
After that, my father will personally receive a letter stating that I want to deny his last name and want to change it to another.
He could complain and try to ‘stop’ me from changing my last name, but I highly doubt he would and even if he would, he’d need a very legit reason. Which he doesn’t have. Or anybody else for that matter. Then it would still take weeks, months even before my name would be officially changed. I would need an actual permission from the King of the Netherlands himself and my family could still try and stop me(once again, they’d need a legit reason). When I told my mother about this, the only thing she said was: “If you do change your name however, you will not receive any of his money once he passes away. You will only receive a small amount of it, as inheritage because you’re his only child, but you will never receive all of his money. That will then go to his family.” I told her I didn’t want his money to begin with. I might even decline the small amount of money I’d get because I’m his only child. My father isn’t poor, he makes quite a good amount of money. But I don’t want it. He’s never been there for me, why take it? It would feel wrong in my eyes. Because it’s not given to me because he wanted to, because he wants me to use it, because of good intentions. It would only be given to me because officially I am his only child and therefore the goverment thinks I should at least receive a part of his money(inheritage). My stepdad said I was stupid for saying this but I still stand by that decision, IF I were to actually DO change my last name in the end. Because as I said before, I’m still unsure.
I will need to think long and hard about this decision but luckily there’s no time limit on it. I still have enough time and I might even wait until TY is here so I can discuss it with him. Get his opinion on the matter. Maybe some of you guys can give me your opinion about it too? I would absolutely appreciate it if y’all did that for me 🙂 If so, I will definitely bring it with me into my final decision. Who know’s? Maybe it won’t happen for another year, but I need to start thinking about this now 🙂 I wanted to share this with you all because this blog isn’t only about my LDR(mostly it is, of course) but it’s also about me in general. My life, some of the struggles, the thoughts that go through my mind from time to time. And I want you guys to be a part of that ♥ Let me know what you think, I’ll get back to living my life for now and grinding my gears some more about it. Also, stay tuned for a video ^^