Guys! I know I’ve been neglecting my blog for about three weeks, maybe even four but I have good reasons… Which I will talk about in this post. I actually already made a video about this. When I wanted to edit it however, I realized my blog’s been full of videos as of late and I wanted to change it up by making an actual blog post again. So I really hope you guys will read to the end of this post.
On a positive note, my mother has signed a new contract last Friday, two days ago. She now officially works for another company and she’ll start tomorrow(Monday). We all have been busy with this for the past three weeks. At first we all weren’t sure if my mother could even sign at another company, because her old one gets taken over by another company. Because of that reason, the new company taking over, might wanted to keep the employees from the old company as well. So this caused a lot of uncertainty among my mother and us, in general. However, it’s all signed and done! My mother has a new job and it’s a very very VERY good deal she’s got going on right now, guys! So we are all, obviously, very happy for her. As is she.
Now moving on to my topic, my part of this blog post where I get serious. First of all, I want to apologize for neglecting my blog for three weeks. However, my moms situation was going on and something else..
I’ve been back, working for my old company for three months now. I started in July and it’s now September. I already noticed things have changed drastically, in the six months I’ve been gone but I didn’t think much of it at first. Coworkers are talking behind eachother’s backs, there’s distrust between every single coworker working here, people don’t help eachother out anymore.. Long story short: A LOT has changed.
Two weeks ago, on a Wednesday I overslept. I woke up 40 minutes after I was supposed to LEAVE the house(go figure), however I made it to work only 10 minutes late. You do the math of how quickly I got up and left the house. Because I had overslept, of course I did arrive at work feeling a bit groggy and annoyed but that was because I was annoyed with myself and annoyed that I had to rush so much and didn’t get time to wake up peacefully. I hate rushing in the morning. However, the day went well and all was good.
Last week, I was on lunch break with a coworker of mine whom I can get a long with very well. She was telling me, out of the blue: “Don’t say you heard this from me, because I’m not even supposed to know this… But So-And-So(a coworker I don’t particurlarly like, who WASN’T even there on that Wednesday I overslept) told me, that the boss told HER, she didn’t want to continue working with you.. Because ‘it’s not working out with Naomi’.” Now guys, though there’s a lot of distrust between everyone, this coworker I’m speaking of right now, I know I can trust. Why? – Because she warned me months before I came back that things weren’t the way they used to be. A lot had changed and people had changed as well. She’s one I can fully trust and one of very few I can actually trust. I got SO pissed off, right then and there you guys. To which she replied: “However, of course I do not know how much of this story is actually true. So-And-So, does like to gossip and she might’ve twisted the actual story around while talking.” Which I can understand. Nonetheless, it’s been eating away at me for the past week and I made a deal with myself that I’d have a conversation upcoming Wednesday with my boss about it. Reason why? I do not want to be in the same position I was in, last December. When my boss told me she had to let me go because I didn’t do a good job. However, when she ASKED me BACK, she then went on saying I actually DID do a good job, however she couldn’t give me a permanent contract. Because the company didn’t want her to.
All sounds very confusing right? I agree.
I want to have a talk, upcoming Wednesday and I am absolutely TERRIFIED to do so. Simply because I hate confrontation and I don’t like where this all is headed. However, I remember how upset I got when I heard this last week and I know that I owe it to myself and my future to have this talk.
I want to sit down with her and I WILL call out said coworkers name(not the nice one, but the So-And-So one) and I’ll ask her how much of this is true. If it’s true, I want her to be honest with me and I’ll want to know where I stand currently. If it’s false, then I’d like to have a talk with So-And-So and my boss, and I’d like to know why she’s spreading those rumors. Nonetheless I feel scared that I’ll have to look for yet another job anyways. Why? Because A: if she says it’s true, then I’ll thank her for her honesty and look for another job. B: if her answer is even SLIGHTLY vague or not clear enough to me, I’ll look for another job regardless because I need to focus on my future! I have a long distance relationship and no matter what happens: Fired or not fired, I’ll go to him next summer. That’s final. However, I am in a LDR, I need to have at least SOME stable job or income to make this all work. I can’t just keep getting fired over petty reasons or distrust in a company and not having an income at all. Because in that case, I won’t be able to make this LDR work at all. I know TY is patient and loves me no matter what, but I don’t want to wait another year to see him. I don’t want to keep on having that fear of: what if.. What if..
I feel like I’m right to distrust my boss in this situation because I’ve been here before and it ended shitty as hell for ME. What pisses me off the most isn’t even how shitty this situation is, that coworkers are talking crap about eachother. No, what pisses me off the most is the fact that my boss asked me BACK. I wanted to go back working for my old company anyways, but I didn’t perse wanted to go back to my old location. There was, in fact, another location closer to my house that was looking for people to hire. But there was my boss, pleading with me that she wanted me back. And now you don’t want me anymore because.. Why? I overslept one time, which is not a legit reason to discontinue a contract with an employee. But in that case, she’ll probably make up some excuses. Nonetheless, I need to think of myself and my OWN future. Though I love my location, the store I’ve worked for, for almost four years.. Some of the coworkers I still work with today, I need to think about ME. And it scares me to hell. But I owe it to myself and my future to do it.
Like I said, no matter what the outcome will be, I fear that I’ll have to look for a new job, once again. However, this time around, I’ll do it before I get fired. It’s easier to get hired while you still have a job and I still have until April at the least to find something else. Of course I’ll wait until I’ve had the talk next Wednesday, but I feel like the outcome will be the same. I just have that same gut feeling I had a few weeks before I got ‘fired’ last December.
So hence the reason I’ve been neglecting my blog. I promise that once all of this has blown over, I’ll be more active on here again. Like I’ve been before. But as of right now, I need to deal with this first since it’s the most important thing to me right now. It’s about my life, my LDR and my future. I don’t want to be messed with by a company again. I ask of the people who do follow me and like my posts, if you could please stick it out with me and wait until this has blown over. And thank you so much if you do or did this. Wish me luck!
Thanks for reading xoxo