Be a *bleep*-ing gentleman

Hi guys and for today, there is no video, there’s just the post, that came directly from an angry girl’s mind. Let me further elaborate.

Here I am. A 20, almost 21 year old girl. I almost never wear skirts, dresses etc. but sometimes however, I do. Because you know what?-Summer. It’s hot as balls in my country and even when you have minimal to no clothes on your body, you still want to rip off your skin because it’s hot. Therefore I wear dresses now, skirts, tank tops. Basically clothes that reveal my bare arms, legs and upper chest/neck and shoulders.
I have a lovely boyfriend and even though we are not engaged, I keep my ring(one that I bought for myself FYI) on my left hand ring finger. Why? Because it shows or SHOULD show that I am TAKEN. That I have a man myself. That I am not interested in other men’s blunt and sexual advances. TY has not given me this ring, he has not told me to wear it on that particular finger but he knows I do this because I straight up told him I don’t want to deal with men like that. And it has helped me out a few times before. Where men just take a single glance at my ring and walk away without opening their mouths. But then there’s the occasional a-holes that just won’t let it go. Now if this only happened to me once or twice, I wouldn’t make an entire post related to this topic. However, this has happened to me so many times, starting from the age of TEN(!!!) years young. That I simply cannot let it slide any longer. What is it, with Western men and catcalling/following/intimidating/whistling and so on?! I say Western men because I’ve spent some time in the company of Asian men and in an Asian country, walking around every day with less clothes than I’ve ever worn in my own country. Still fully clothed, not showing immodesty, however less clothes and mostly less layers of clothes than I usually wear in my own friggin’ country. Not ONCE, have I been disrespected, cat called, whistled at, followed etc. by any of these men. Now each and every culture has their rotten apples and I cannot speak for the entirety of Asia. However, I can speak for the men I’ve seen, run into and met. All of which, have treated me with the utmost respect.

When meeting TY, he has not ONCE made a sexual comment, has not ONCE asked me if I wanted to see him naked(we all know what I’m talking about here), he has not ONCE done any of the above. He has treated me like a lady, not specifically a lady but a person. A human being. He’s interested in me, we are together now, still…. He treats me like a normal human being. Not like a piece of meat. Not like someone he can intimidate. Why is it, that Dutch men and western men do this on a daily basis?

I am sick and tired of walking on the streets. Just minding my own damn business and guys calling at me: “Hey sexy/Hey baby/Nice pair of boobs!/I’d like to take you out for a spin!/Want to sit on my lap baby?/Want to ride me?/I’d like to kiss you right now.” I have heard ALL of these. There’s two things I can do in this situation: walk on, ignore them and pay them no mind. What happens if I do that? They pull my arm, so that I’m now facing them. They whistle at me, they follow me while they keep on asking me why I’m not saying anything and why I’m ignoring them. While in the meantime, a whole flock of him and his friends are surrounding me until the point where I have no other choice than to run away, to safety.
If I choose to reply, saying something along the lines of: shut up/leave me alone/fuck off/just don’t. I’ll get called a slut, a whore, a cunt, ugly, disgusting, attention whore, drama queen. Or even worse, he or they will follow me, pin me down and intimidate the shit out of me.

If I go to the police about it, they can’t help me.. Because “nothing actually happened.” I have not been raped, I have not been beaten. So scram, little lady. If I place it ANYWHERE on social media or online, I get told I’m overreacting, I’m causing drama, I’m a drama queen, how I shouldn’t complain because I’m getting compliments, how all women act like they mind but they secretly love the attention….

How about, you shut the fuck up and realize that this is WRONG. It’s wrong that I live in a society where this is deemed normal and okay. It’s wrong that I have to fear going on the streets at any given time of the day, wearing dresses or when I’m covered in layers of clothing. It’s wrong that authorities don’t help solve this issue and tell us they cannot help us with this. That nothing actually happened. It’s wrong that guys think all women love it and that we should just shut up and take the compliment. That we should thank them for saying such sexual intimidating shit to us and make us feel like nothing but a piece of fucking meat for the men to hump and sexualize whenever they want to. It’s all fucking wrong. How about you take notes of the Asian culture, where respect is given. Where women are respected. Where guys are fucking normal and still have courtesy. Where guys can talk to women without having any other intention than actually getting to know them. Where family is important and having freaking goals too. Where I can walk the streets feeling completely and utterly safe. And here’s another thing… How about you learn to be a fucking gentleman.

*drops the mic*

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15 thoughts on “Be a *bleep*-ing gentleman

  1. Things are getting really bad here in Vancouver, Where cat calling has spurred a movement against it, people are trying to make it illegal somehow.

    What bothers me most is people making advances despite knowing that a fuel is taken, the kind of pigs that target strictly taken women like some kind of game. :-/

    • I totally agree. We don’t have that. Authorities and people don’t help you and they won’t until something really bad happens. I hate it that I can’t feel safe even when I’m taken. I know it sounds weird maybe but I thought when I’d be taken it would happen less because maybe when I were single I’d give off some kind of vibe. Now that I am taken however, I just know it’s definitely not me but them, and after seeing Taiwan and the male citizens, I know for sure courtesy, respect and chivalry isn’t dead. It still exists and I don’t get why it’s dead here. Sort of like a reverse cultural shock after I came back from my vacation in Taiwan. Before I went I thought it was normal but now I know it’s not.

  2. I am truly sorry to hear that you ladies are being treated in this manner. Often guys tell me that the first thing they do when meeting new ladies is to make eye contact… To which I always say that that, is actually the second thing you should be worrying about. First, being to check out the hand. Otherwise, you’re just wasting your time. On behalf of men, I do apologize.

    A Gent

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