Tips for maintaining a LDR.

So before I start off this post, I want to say that these following tips are working / have worked for me personally. Every relationship is different, so I cannot promise that all of these will work for everyone. I do hope that if you have a Long Distance Relationship and you’re reading this, it will help you and give you some ideas 🙂

#1 : Try to communicate with eachother.
Sometimes, if your partner lives on the other side of the world it’s hard to find time to talk to eachother. You have to make time and you both have to try and do this. Talk about how your day was and listen to your partner telling you about their day.

#2 : You don’t always have to talk about ‘important’ things.
Sometimes, you run out of things to talk about. You already told them what you did and what you’re planning to do. That’s okay! Try and think of something fun to do. Share videos you like and ask if your partner has found something interesting. Play a fun little game, Google has some pretty good options. Watch a movie together. If you’re still in school, help your partner do his/hers homework. In conclusion: you don’t always have to talk about important things.

#3 : Enjoy the silence together.
And sometimes, both of these tips won’t work. Sometimes you just want to stare at eachother and make faces. There’s nothing wrong with enjoying some silence every now and again whilst you’re Skyping.

#4 : Share photo’s with eachother.
Now don’t go overboard with this but if your partner is asleep or doing something, share photo’s with them. Show them what you’re eating today or where you’re at. Show them the ducks near your house or the new things you’ve bought for yourself. Let them have a peek into your life whilst your partner isn’t around.

#5 : You don’t have to talk everyday.
I’ve noticed that at some point in time, my boyfriend and I were both very busy living our lives(I’ll get more into that in the next part). And we would go a few days without calling eachother. We would message eachother Goodmorning and Goodnight and some small things in between but that was about it. That’s not a bad thing! It’s important to find that balance between communicating enough and living your own lives as well.

Which brings me to the next tip..

#6 : Be co-dependent. You both should be able to live your own lives.
You should be able to have an education/job/social life, just as much as your partner does. Sometimes you’ll find that your partner has important things to study for, or maybe they have a job that requires their attention. And all of us sometimes want to go out with friends or just be ‘alone’ for a bit. If they need you/miss you, they will message you or call you. Give them that time to live their live, just like I’m sure you would want to live your life sometime. Now don’t mistake this tip for neglecting eachother: that’s never the right thing to do. With all of these tips, it’s vital that you find a balance. Sometimes that’s hard, and sometimes it is not.

#7 : Don’t be afraid to open up to your partner.
At some point in the relationship you are both ready to get more personal with eachother. Usually this happens after a few months of being in the relationship. If this moment arrives, don’t be afraid to open up and share some more personal things with your partner. Essentially, you would both want a future together so your partner will be a part of your life. They don’t have to know everything, but at least let them know some things that might be important for the possible future.

#8 : Make sure you both know what kind of future you both want.
Before my boyfriend became my boyfriend and we were still just friends, we were already talking about deep topics. Like what we wanted in life. Fortunately we both want the same things, for example:  working on ourselves before we tie the knots, then eventually getting married, having children some day. One of us has to move to another country and leave everything behind some day, make sure you both agree on who does this. If your partner and you both know what you want in life, it’s easier to work towards a future together. And you both know what you’ll be getting yourself into. A LDR is not always easy and it might take years of your life. Not to mention the money you’ll be spending on visiting eachother. If it’s not for the both of you, don’t force it.

#9 : Discuss things with eachother, it’s okay to have different opinions but respect one another’s opinion.
I discuss things with my boyfriend quite a lot and sometimes we don’t agree on things. I don’t mean to fight your partner but discuss topics that you find interesting or important. If he doesn’t agree with me or if it’s the other way around, I always tell him: That’s your opinion and that’s fine 🙂 Let’s just agree to dissagree. You’re not supposed to always agree with your partner, you’re two entirely different people. In most cases: opposites attract. That’s probably what you liked about your partner, always remember this.

#10 : If your partner is feeling down: listen to them.
Most of the time(if the relationship is right), you’ll know when your partner is feeling down or upset. You don’t always have to give them advice, sometimes it’s best to just listen to them so they can get it off their chests. The same will most likely happen to you as well if you’re feeling blue.

#11 : You don’t always have to say ‘I love you’.
It’s good to tell eachother that you love one another from time to time if you’ve reached that point in the relationship(where it’s ok to say this). However, you don’t always have to say ‘I love you’. Sometimes the simple questions are enough to let them know you love them. Examples: Have you eaten something yet? / I’m here for you. / Let me know when you’re home.
Those things might seem ‘normal’ to you, but it can really make your partner feel loved.

#12 : Be invested in their lives. Care about what they do.
If your partner has something really interesting or important coming up, be invested in what’s happening in their life. Once again: make time to be invested in eachother’s lives. Support them through thick and thin, even if to you it seems pointless. It might mean the world to them. Don’t crush their dreams just because you don’t see a future in whatever they want in life. Be eachother’s pillars.

#13 : Always plan a date to see eachother again/set goals for yourselves.
When I got back from Taiwan last September, I immediately started thinking about the next trip. If you really know that there’s a connection between the two of you, you’d want to see eachother as much as possible, right? Plan ahead! Planning is essential. If you plan ahead together, it could really help you both. If you’ve got a job or education, you’d want to know when and for how long you can leave. You can then both work towards that goal and it could help pass the time faster.

And lastly..
#14 : Sometimes things don’t always go as planned: accept this and move on.
Whether it’s the relationship that doesn’t go as planned, or the trip you’ve been planning to see eachother again. Life isn’t always easy and LDR aren’t easy in the slightest. I planned to see my boyfriend this summer but unfortunately he had to serve in the millitary for a year. My plans were gone and for a while I felt like I was stuck. However you have to accept it and move on, plan ahead again, talk about the next time, set new goals. And if your relationship doesn’t work out, as I said before: Don’t force it. It’s not worth the time, energy and money spent on it all. Only if you’re both a 100% sure this is for you and what you both want, only then should you fight for it. Never stop fighting.

I am sure I have a few more tips for maintaining a LDR, but this post would get too long. These are to me, the most important one’s. As I said before, every relationship and person is different so these tips might not always(or not at all) work on you and your partner. I do hope however, that I’ve given some pretty useful tips and that you’ve enjoyed this post regardless 🙂

Thank you so much for reading this far and good luck with your LDR. It’s not always easy but it’s definitely worth it in the end. If you both know that you want this, keep on fighting for what you have! And please don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.



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