Hi guys! So man, it’s been forever since my last blog post but things haven’t really gone that well.
So let’s begin where I last left off. I had plans, major plans at the end of 2015. I had just recently gotten back from Taiwan; I was given the most amazing guy in the world; I was loving my job; I wanted to save my money to visit my boyfriend again in the summer of 2016 and if possible, I’d visit him much earlier in the year; I had bought a fujifilm instax mini camera to shoot creditcard sized polaroids with and wanted to use it on my next trip in Taiwan; basically to sum it all up: I had PLANS. My boyfriend was finishing his last semester of College and he had one last exam, in February he had it but failed to mention one CRUCIAL detail, until the day of his actual exam. It was very early in the morning for me but I woke up from his messages. He then told me (the crucial bit of information) that if he failed this exam/semester, he’d be sent to the army to serve mandatory military service for a year. That shocked me to say the least. But I had faith he could do it. It was a German exam and he’d told me he’d studied hard for it. Around my 11 A.M. he had finished and messaged me to say he failed… He also told me he was going to the military this year to serve mandatory for an entire year. My first reaction was disbelief. I thought he was joking with me and I couldn’t believe it. But it was really true. I guess you could say we were both NOT happy about this. I didn’t even KNOW he had mandatory military service in his country but apparently Taiwan’s had this law for yeaaaaars. He had to go, and he couldn’t desert his country so he had no other options. It was either this year, or he had to do it later in his life. But after a lot of talking we both decided it would be best for him to go this year. Since we had only seen eachother in person once and well… What if I’d move to Taiwan one day and he has to go serve that year he hasn’t served yet.. Then I’d be alone and he’d be gone for a year. Also, after you’ve spent more and more time with eachother it gets harder to stay away from eachother. So we figured now was the best time. Though we were both NOT happy about it. Him, because he was a bit afraid to go serve in the military. And me, because I wouldn’t be able to visit him in the summer of 2016 and not see him until the summer of 2017.
I’m not getting too much into the details of what we spoke of in that one month(yes only one month), because I feel like this post will already be a long one, I don’t want to drag it on too much.. But let’s just say that we were both reaally having a hard time. At the end of February he told me he was leaving on the 8th of March. All this time we heard nothing about it and all of a sudden he had a date to leave. It happened real fast. Fortunately, we both grew A LOT closer in that month. Why? – because we knew he’d be gone for a year and we weren’t quite sure how much we would be able to communicate with eachother while he was there. I told him I’d wait for him no matter what, and that it did suck a LOT but I wasn’t going to give up on him. I know it sounds cheesy but it’s true. I didn’t want to give up what I had with him, even though I’d have to wait an entire year before I’d see him again. He was in a very dark place at that time because his parents were very dissapointed with him for failing his semester. Mostly his mother.. and he was having a very hard time with that. But he told me that my support made everything a lot better.
He felt loved and he was glad to have me by his side and we kept going over the pro’s of him going to mandatory now. Which were:
#1: If he goes now, he won’t ever have to go again and we’d already have this issue behind us.
#2: I’d get his parents full approval because I would wait an entire year for their son to come back.
#3: If we have this behind us, probably nothing would ever matter anymore.
#4: When we’re old and gray we can tell everybody this story and it would be fun.
Of course most of it was bitter, but I do agree with the pro’s we came up with. We always tell eachother we have to look at the bright side of things. And that we have to ‘stay positive no matter what comes our way.’ We can do this!
So.. On March 8th he left. He did tell me I wasn’t able to talk to him for a month because he’d have his rookie training. But he did manage to message and call me every now and again. He even bought a payphone card to actually call my mobile number if his wifi wasn’t working.
Rewinding back to December 2016, I thought I had told this but apparently I didn’t. In December my boss of my job also told me she wasn’t able to extend my contract and give me a permanent contract. Meaning, I would work until the 4th of January and then I’d be let go. So I was going to be without a job as well!! You can imagine how stressed out I was, but this all went down before I knew my boyfriend was going to the military.
I did manage to find a job probably within a week. Which was VERY fortunate for me. It was much closer to my house, I’d be able to ride the bicycle to work everyday, and all in all it just had a lot of pro’s. I started working at my new job(whilst still working at my old job) in December, so when I did got ‘fired’, I’d immediately continued working and I never stopped working neither. Which was good! Going back to March of 2016(A lot of going back and forth, I know), I was already working at my new job for three months and my boyfriend had just left for the army. When MORE bad news came in…
I was already not working that much at my new job, at most I’d work about 9 hours a WEEK, which is a LOT less than I was used to. Ontop of that, I wasn’t enjoying my job AT ALL. Not like I used to with my old job. It was SO Quiet compared to the old job I had. Most of the days I’d just LITERALLY pace back and forth for about 6 hours a day, and standing cash register not doing anything else. Up until today, that is
STILL What I do everyday when I go to work. Pace back and forth, all day, and in between the pacing back and forth, I’d help a few customers. I was(still am) bored at work, I felt useless, I didn’t know what to do with all of that free time, there just wasn’t a lot of work to do here. And I didn’t do anything other than cash register. Even though at the job interview I told them I did pretty much everything in a retail store. So in March, a few days after my boyfriend left.. I got the bad news.
The store I was working in was 76 years old and even though it was the very FIRST store of this company, they were going to bulldoze it all to the ground and build something new there, which would take up about 1,5/2 years. Meaning that everyone in this store was going to get fired at the end of July. It wasn’t the company’s choice but the person who owns the bulding we work in. It had a lot of shortcomings anyways, rats, leaks bascially the building is slowly sinking into the ground and the ceilings are slowly coming down with it. So it’s not even safe to work there anymore. When I got this news, my coworker told me it’d be best to start looking for a new job.
SO, in conclusion: I was fired from my old job(which I LOVED) because they couldn’t give a permanent contract; I then gladly did find another job but found out my boyfriend had to serve mandatory for a year and we didn’t know how much we’d be able to talk to eachother during this year; then a few days AFTER he left, I get to hear that I will be fired(along with the rest of my coworkers) in July and I’d have to look for ANOTHER new job.
So far, my year started off REAL bad.
Normally I’d message my boyfriend and update him on everything and he’d give me some soothing words to calm down with. But this time, he wasn’t there. I couldn’t message him for the first month and we weren’t even sure how much we would talk after that month.
I felt very bad during this time.. I became stressed out. Yes, I was lucky I had found a new job so quickly but now it turns out I have to look again. And I only have until July. Which sounds far away but time goes by REAL fast if you can’t find anything.
I messaged my old boss asking if I could work at the same company, but a different store in a different location. Or if I had to wait 6 months as well to return. Since that’s the rule if you get fired: you can return but you have to wait 6 months because you were already an employee at this company/store. She then told me that I’d have to wait six months and that she knew that this location I was talking about(REAL close to my house)
did need employees. They were looking for people. However, she then told me she would much rather have me back.
SHE WANTED ME BACK!! I was beyond myself at that moment. My boss from the previous job I had, never wanted to fire me but had no choice because the big boss behind HER didn’t want to give a permanent contract. She wanted me back, which was awesome.. but CAN she take me back as well?
I asked her if she could give me that security that I would be able to return in July. And the timing wouldn’t be more perfect. Why?- I had a contract at my new job until July of 2016, the store was closing in July of 2016, AND the old job takes back employees after 6 months. Counting from January: that would be in JULY of 2016!! So the timing really wouldn’t be any more perfect than this. She messaged me saying she would have to talk to her boss about it and that she’d try her hardest getting me back. I waited for about three weeks with no answer and started to think there was no way… Until she messaged me this at 7:30 in the morning: “Hey Naomi, I can take you back as my employee under only one condition: you’d have to work in a higher position at work and you’d have to WANT that as well.”
So wait… I can go back to my old job, which I loved to do, I loved my coworkers and my boss, I can earn more money again AND I immediately get
a promotion when I come back? Uh.. You don’t have to tell me twice, lady! OF COURSE I said yes! This was probably the best oppurtunity I’d ever get in my life. And once again, the timing couldn’t be any more perfect! She messaged me saying
she’d look to see when I can re-apply for the job, because I still have to wait until July or the end of June to do this(The six months rule) and I am still waiting for that message. But no matter what, I’ll go back to my old job and immediately get a promotion. Or well, I start with a higher position/rank than I had before but to me that qualifies as a promotion, am I right?
So, even though the year started off like shit.. It was starting to get a little bit brighter…
Then when the month of rookie training was over for my boyfriend, he messaged me and called me and told me he was sent to the coastguard unit. Which was his dream position in the military because he had heard it was the best one. Not a lot of hard work, lots of free time so he could study and talk to me a lot more. The reason why he wanted to study was because he wanted to go straight back into College when he’d be done with
military service and re-do the entire semester and pass it this time around so he would be done with it. Turns out, we now get a LOT of time to talk to eachother. We talk, probably every day again. We type on Facebook Messenger and sometimes we call for a little bit. But all in all, I’d have to say we both didn’t expect this year to go so well. Right now we are already in April, almost May. There’s only 10 months left of his mandatory military service and we both can’t wait.
So even though my plans got completely ruined and wrecked in the beginning of this year.. I’ve made SOME, not much… actually only two plans for this year and the next.. First of all.. Obviously because I knew I wasn’t going to Taiwan this summer or year, I decided to put my savings account on hold for a bit. I wasn’t transferring my money into it anymore because 1: I don’t earn that much money at this job, due to the lack of hours I work there. And 2: because I had no reason to save up money now. Sure I could save up for upcoming year but I just don’t have the same motivation now, knowing it’ll still take at LEAST another year and three months before I could see my boyfriend again. Also, I’ve been giving my mother and stepfather a lot of quite expensive gifts. First of all, I bought all three of us an iPad in March. Because, I always wanted one and I wanted to give my mother and stepdad one as well because why the hell not. Then I bought my mother a window vacuum cleaner, which she really wanted for the longest time. I then bought a gift card for both my mother and stepdad to use on a High Tea, of their choice. In a place of their choice in this country. And of course, right now Mother’s Day is right around the corner so I bought my mother a basket with a lot of different gifts in it and I am still waiting eagerly to give this to her on the actual Mother’s Day itself. For people who don’t yet know this about me: I’m terrible with gifts.. I love to give them but can’t wait until the actual day of when I’m SUPPOSED to give it. But so far, I’ve managed well, and not given her the gift basket yet.. Only a little over a week left now..
And here’s the thing.. I am not getting too much into the details but I’ve ALWAYS wanted a PC that could play games. I love to play games and I have a lot of BIG games, and this current desktop that I am using is GREAT. It has SO Much space on it, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with it. However.. it’s not a Gaming PC/Desktop. And I’ve come to realise that if I want to play all the games that I’ve spent money on (For example Tomb Raider The Rise Of The Tomb Raider, that I CANNOT play at all on this desktop), I’ll need an actual gaming PC. So today, I’ve set up a plan. If I start saving up money, starting from July(when I go back to my old job), I’ll be able to purchase a Gaming PC, with parts that I have already put together on the website I’m going to buy it off of. It’s a trusted website/company so I don’t have to worry about that. I’m not getting into the price of this computer but it will be an ACTUAL, totally complete, already entirely set up, gaming PC. And I’ll be able to purchase it in September of this year. So that’s what I’m currently setting my eyes on now. Since I probably won’t be able to ever spend that much money on a PC again. Considering, I’ll be saving up all of my money afterwards to go see my boyfriend at LEAST once a year. So I feel like the Universe is giving me a sign, that in this ‘missing year’ that I won’t be able to go to Taiwan, that this is my ONLY chance to do this if I really want to. And I will. Then in September, obviously I’ll be completely broke again, after spending all of my money on that. My mother will get my current Desktop since there’s absolutely nothing wrong with it.. And she and my stepdad have been sharing HIS Desktop ever since we moved in here.. Which is a nightmare for the both of them by the way, haha. I mean, I even STILL have the plastic on this desktop that I’ve never removed. Don’t ask why.. It’s a thing that probably sounds extremely stupid but I want it that way hahahah. So it literally will be almost brand new to my mother. At least on the outside it will look as if it had just gotten out of the box it came in with.
In September(let’s get back to the story), I’ll be completely broke again.. but if I continue saving my money again in September, I’ll be able to have my plane ticket to Taiwan in December again. Then in March of 2016 I’ll already have enough money for a Hotel and my stay in Taiwan for three weeks. And then I STILL get 5 more months left to save up MORE money for either Taiwan, or if I get like extra bills I haven’t thought about or whatever.
So even IF things don’t go entirely according to my plans… I’ll still be able to make it and get what I want. Which is right now: An ACTUAL gaming PC, then my plane ticket to Taiwan and in the new year, my three week trip back to Taiwan for the summer of
I’m happy I’ve set these ‘goals’ for myself again because lately I’ve been feeling like I had no goals to work towards to anymore.. My boyfriend was gone, the job I loved was gone, even the job I absolutely despise(I really really do, guys) is going to be gone in July..
I had nothing to work towards to. I felt… like I was going nowhere. Even before I Knew this job is going to end, I felt like that. I felt like I didn’t have anything.. Like I was stuck.. Not doing anything. And now, I’ll finally have GOALS again.. A purpose.. a thing to work towards to again. I already feel much better. Ontop of all of this, my boyfriend is happy, we get to talk everyday again.. Maybe not as long as we used to.. but you got to stay positive!
We even told eachother the ‘three famous words’ for the first time, ever 🙂
I feel better, he feels better, life is good again. It doesn’t always go as planned and I was at a very dark place for about four months. Hence the not posting anything for a while. I felt like if I would post something it would all be depressing and I wouldn’t really have anything good to type about. But as you can see… even when life gets a little dark and hopeless.. it all works out again in the end. I literally thought I was stuck. But now my life is moving again. Life is funny that way. You make plans, you have it all sorted out for yourself, you set out on a path towards something or someone and then it all crumbles beneath you and you feel like it’s all done and over with. You don’t know what to do or what life or the future has in store for you and then all of a sudden, it’ll all make sense again. Things will fall into place again and you’ll see it all infront of you again. Maybe a lot different than you had initially planned it, but eventually you’ll have the same goal again. The path you’ll take is just a bit different 🙂