My happiness.

Hi guys, so it’s been three weeks since I came back from Taiwan and I feel homesick for a place that is not even my home. This country and this guy has really done a number on me.. Damn.

I have to say that though I’ve been working for three weeks again, it’s not as much fun as it used to be. Don’t get me wrong, my coworkers and my boss are still amazing people. They make my work so much fun. But I miss the beautiful Island of Taiwan and I miss my guy.
Today especially I am having mixed emotions about everything. Not about him but about the plans we have discussed.

See, TY wanted me to live there but first wanted me to work there with a work visa so I can get the feel of really working and living in Taiwan. He always recommended me working as an english tutor, one on one with a student. And I could decide how many students/hours I’d work a week. And the pay, would be amazing. Now that I have done my research however, I found out.. If you’re not a perminent resident of Taiwan, it’s ilegal to work as a tutor like that. You have to work in a regular school with regular hours. Ontop of that, I don’t speak a word of Chinese Mandarin so finding a job or working at a school would be impossible for me right now. Of course I didn’t want to move there and work there within the year but at least in two or three years. I am now unsure whether or not I can actually teach myself Chinese Mandarin in that amount of time. So working is not going to be as easy as he made it out to be. Though that’s my only worry right now, I just hope we can work this out in time. I am not yet packing to go work and live there YET.. But I am at least hoping to be able to do this before I am 24/25. If all works out between him and I of course.

Other than that, I still feel lucky and happy I’ve gotten the chance to be with TY. He really is an amazing guy and I truely feel like I don’t have to be afraid to lose him. Unlike all the other guys that bailed on me within 2 months time, this one has already ‘stayed’ with me for a year. And has not gotten bored with me yet. The first week when I got back, we didn’t Skype much because he was spending his last week of vacation with friends and family. But after that week, we continued where we left of. We have been talking on Facebook Messenger and Skype every day for the last two weeks(the week before that just Facebook).
Nothing has changed.. Except my feelings towards him of course.

Before I went to visit him, talking to him on Skype was the closest I got to him. After I had met him, spent two weeks with him, not a minute apart… After I got back to my country, Skyping just didn’t feel the same anymore. I still want to Skype with him of course, because it’s the only way I can now see and hear him. But after physically being around him for two weeks, I feel so sad when we Skype. Because now I can’t just hug him or kiss him. There’s a screen and 16 hours between us. I still look forward to talking to him every single day of course, but when I look at him I feel homesick. Pretty odd, considering we’ve only ‘just’ started dating eachother. But then again, we have been talking for a year already, and have not missed a single day of talking to eachother since we met. So can you really blame me?

The dieting and jogging/working out is going really well, though I have yet to see results. But I am a very impatient person, I’ll admit. I’m solely doing this for him. I want his jaw to really drop next time I visit him, but at this rate he will only be able to give me a pat on the shoulder. Yes, my face has gotten slimmer. Yes, my coworker told me my butt is getting smaller. And I am confused whether I can see my pants getting ‘bigger’ and my chest getting smaller, but I want to see actual results! I want my stomach to get smaller, my upper legs too and I also want my upper arms to get less fat. Though I think my arms are already fat less, at least for the most part. And all that remains is probably just loose skin. But still! I want to see those results! And TY has already told me, the change will not take place overnight and I need to be more patient. But I am not.

As for the dieting, I am really not noticing any erros or complications. I am eating less carbs, for sure; I am not adding sugar to my tea or coffee anymore; I am staying away from fats and sugars, meaning I have not touched chocolate in a month if not longer; and all in all, I am never completely starved at all.
I eat three meals a day and two diet bars when I’m at work after my lunch. And that’s it. Sometimes I’ll have a dessert back at home but this is usually yogurt without sugar.

So I’d say I’m doing better than I’ve ever done before, I just hope the results will show soon. After all, I made a deal with him and the price I am getting for losing weight, is definitely the jackpot.

Speaking of jackpot, sometimes when I think about him… I truely feel like I’ve hit the jackpot. I can’t stop saying this, but it’s true… He literally is my dream come true. Since the day I met him, I’ve liked him, I’ve befriended him while still liking him more than I should’ve. And in the second week of my vacation we became a thing. Which has never happenend before to me. Sometimes I think it all didn’t happen, and it’s all just in my mind. But then I see the pictures and know that all of this truely did happen. I can’t stop smiling, you guys. He truely is my happiness.

His words, his advices get me through a long day at work. Or through my excersise and diet, through my studying.. He’s there for me. We talk to eachother about our days and we never get bored. We watch movies together(yes, while Skyping), and we talk about everything and nothing. I got his back and he’s got mine.
Yeah, I know I keep talking too much about me. But guys, I’ll end it here. I’m just a hopeless fool in love ^^

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